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'Allo 'Allo!

IMDB: 8.3

1982, 9 seasons to date

Comedy / War

By David Croft

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René Artois runs a small café in France during World War II. He always seems to have his hands full: He's having affairs with most of his waitresses, he's keeping his wife happy, he's trying to please the German soldiers who frequent his café, and he's running a major underground operation for the Resistance. Quite often, the Germans' incompetence itself is what nearly lands René and his cohorts in hot water; they are not helped either by the locals, who are dreadfully keen to get rid of the Germans, but their blatant and theatrical attempts at espionage and secrecy often create problems that René must solve quickly.

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Season 1

  • Pigeon Post

    The airmen,wearing German uniforms,are captured by the Maquis,but escape and burn the uniforms,taking clothes off scarecrows instead before disguising themselves as onion sellers. Von Strohm and Geering,now without uniforms,are angry with Rene and he is given two carrier pigeons to send to London for replacement uniforms. He uses the radio transmitter hidden under Madame Fanny's bed instead when Edith kills and cooks the pigeons.

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  • Savile Row to the Rescue

    Michelle brings a bottle of nitro-glycerine to the cafe for safe keeping until it is time for her to use it to blow up a German train. However as it is in a gin bottle Edith thinks it really is gin and gives some to Madame Fanny. Rene and the two German officers meet the plane bringing their uniforms but on board there is only a Jewish tailor who takes their measurements. He does,however,take the painting of The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies back to London to be copied.

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    Savile Row to the Rescue
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Season 2

  • The Poloceman Cometh

    Dressed as a pantomime cow the two airmen narrowly avoid being milked before going to a landing field to pick up their plane home. Unfortunately all the plane does is drop by parachute an intelligence officer called Crabtree,who poses as a gendarme and mangles every attempt at the language. Von Stahm and Rene meanwhile have to stop the train from reaching Berlin as it is carrying the sausage which does not contain the painting. They plan to blow it up and blame the Resistance but fail to do so and the train passes them by.

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  • Swiftly and with Style

    Flick comes across Michelle by the roadside,lying in wait for an ammunition lorry which she plans to blow up with a detonator disguised as a bicycle pump - however Flick mistakes it for a genuine cycle pump and blows his car up. Another escape attempt is to be made for the airmen,this time in a balloon and silk knickers are vanishing from the village washing lines to provide the material. Rene explains that the knickers are actually providing the material for Edith's wedding dress,as she has agreed to re-marry him. Monsieur Alphonse,who is already wooing Edith, is ...

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Season 3

  • The Sausage in the Wardrobe

    Waitress Maria is sent to Gruber with the genuine painting in order for him to copy it. However she is intercepted by Von Klinkerhoffen who puts the painting,inside the sausage,in his wardrobe and refuses to release Maria until he gets his lawn mower motor back. Rene,Von Strohm,Geering and Flick,using the secret passages,break into the chateau to steal back the painting.

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    The Sausage in the Wardrobe
  • Flight of Fancy

    Rene has successfully got the painting back so Michelle concentrates on her plan to get the airmen away in the ancient aeroplane. It is to be drawn by a car and catapulted into the air,requiring Rene to steal 800 metres of men's braces,which he does under the guise of his Brotherhood of the Night-Owl. Flick and Helga,aware that something may be afoot,turn up in his staff car but it is flattened by a runaway steam-roller so they miss seeing the failed escape when the plane fails to take off and Rene is flung through the air.

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    Flight of Fancy
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Season 4

  • Good Staff Are Hard to Find

    To replace Maria,Michelle brings in Mimi Labonq,who is very tiny but very tenacious and vows to be Rene's bodyguard. She is also very fanatical and Rene has to stop her from poisoning Flick. A new radio is also brought to the cafe by Roger LeClerc but this coincides with the arrival of Geering's replacement,the Italian Captain Bertorelli. He too almost falls victim to Mimi when he misunderstands her invitation to go upstairs and look at some paintings.

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  • The Flying Nun

    Flick suspects Von Strohm and the general of being part of a plot to kill Hitler and plants a microphone,disguised as a daffodil,in the general's office but the only conversation is the Germans trying to get rid of Bertorelli. The Resistance need an aerial to be placed above Flick's jamming signal to block it out so Mimi,dressed as a nun,is sent up in the air attached to a box kite. She asks London to send explosives. Alphonse catches Rene and Yvette at it and regards Edith as back on the market.

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Season 5

  • Dinner with the General

    Rene manages to photograph the safe,which is in Gruber's room and which LeClerc believes he can blow open. Alphonse tells Edith of Rene's affair with Yvette but she believes his denial. Von Klinkerhoffen takes a fancy to Helga and they have a private dinner in his room. Flick and Von Smallhausen,posing as gypsy violinists,serenade them in order to learn whether the general intends to kill Hitler. Smoke bombs are to be dropped down Gruber's chimney,causing a diversion which will allow Rene and LeClerc to come in and open the safe. By mistake the smoke bombs are thrown ...

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    Dinner with the General
  • The Dreaded Circular Saw

    Von Klinkerhoffen assumes that the 'gypsies' caused the smoke bomb incident and orders their arrest,so they hide in the wardrobe. This gets blown to bits when LeClerc blows the safe up,but its contents are not the invasion plans but the original Fallen Madonna painting and the Van Gogh the general stole from Rene.The Gestapo officers, Rene and LeClerc all escape but the last two are disguised as Germans and are captured by the Communist Resistance and held prisoner in an old saw-mill. Flick believes the safe blew up because Gruber was hiding explosives with which to ...

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Season 6

  • The Nouvion Oars

    Von Klinkerhoffen doesn't trust the Gestapo at all and orders Helga to marry Herr Flick so she can keep an eye on him.

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    The Nouvion Oars
  • The Nicked Airmen

    The British airmen have been captured by the Germans. Michelle has a plan to get them. So does the Gestapo.

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Season 7

  • Fleeing Monks

    General Von Klinkerhoffen wants to give René a collaboration medal.

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    Fleeing Monks
  • Up the Crick Without a Piddle

    In England, René and Edith see Captain Hans Geering again.

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Season 8

  • A Woman Never Lies

    Herr Flick gives Helga a truth serum.

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  • Hitler's Last Heil

    When Michelle hears Hitler and Göring will be coming to Nouvion, she plans to blow them up. Meanwhile, it's René's birthday.

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Season 9

  • René Artois Is Still Dead

    Taking advantage of the fact the Germans think René is dead, Michelle has planned for him to go to England to help the British win the war.

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    René Artois Is Still Dead
  • The Fishmonger Float

    Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen plan to kidnap Yvette and Mimi, dress up like them and, using their keys, go to the café to search for the painting.

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